Episode 1: Mother-Daughter Odyssey: Magic Takes Flight from Campus to Continent with She's Free2Fly
In this deeply enriching episode, hostess DeShonda Lucas welcomes a very special guest, her own daughter Magic, for a heartfelt conversation that weaves through the academic halls of college life to the bustling streets of global cities. As a black student navigating the complex landscape of Predominantly White Institutions (PWIs), Magic shares insightful experiences and opportunities tailored for black students looking to thrive. If you've ever dreamt of studying abroad, hold on tight as she recounts her exhilarating journey of visiting 10 countries in just one year—delving into transformative lessons she soaked up in the cultural mélange of Paris, the historic corridors of London, and the vibrant bazaars of Morocco. Yet, one of the most profound lessons she imparts is the simple act of smiling at the world, a universal gesture that bridges any cultural gap. Interlaced through this entire dialogue is the beautiful mother-daughter dynamic, a testament to the love, respect, and friendship that fuels their extraordinary lives. Listen in for sage advice, emotional wisdom, and above all, the resounding affirmation that love makes any journey worthwhile. 🕊️✨🌍
Don't miss this episode filled with generational love and global perspectives. Tune in and find the inspiration to take your own transformative journey, because you too are free to fly. 🎧
Transcript
Hello, ladies. Les Perch, thank you so much for joining the She's Free to Fly podcast. Today I have the honor and the pleasure of interviewing the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the peach in my cobbler, the one who makes me smile, my biggest accountability partner, Magic. Today, Magic is interviewing from California. She is a senior in college. She ended up in California as a recipient of a program called the Black Scholars Program. And I think that is a great place for her to jump in and just tell us about her college experience. So, Mariah, let us hear about it. Girl.
Mariah J. [:Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. Hi, ladies. I'm Mariah. As my mom said, I'm a senior in college. I go to the University of San Francisco, where I was blessed to receive the Black Scholars Program scholarship. And within this program, the students who are accepted I believe there's ten Black Scholars accepted each year, and we're supposed to take two classes together throughout one school year, as well as live in a living, learning community together. Which is a very interesting segue into my college experience, because the year I was supposed to stay in the living learning community, which is usually your freshman year, was during COVID So I was at home, and my living, learning community was online. So that was, like, a very interesting start to college. You didn't have that face to face interaction. I am a very face to face in person person, so even not being able to see my teacher, it created some type of distance I feel in the classroom. But I was blessed. For the Black Scholars Program. Our professor was a licensed therapist, so she was able to really and she wasn't giving us therapy, but she was able to guide conversations in a way that we were still able to connect and express ourselves in a time where people were being very we just had a lot going on. We were holding a lot in, and it was hard to express it because even though we were all going through the same experience from different parts of the world, different parts of the country, it was hard to share that and hard to understand that other people were going through the same thing as well.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Can I ask a question really quick? So when you say you all were holding a lot in, what were some of those things that you believe the freshmen of that year and the senior high school seniors of that year, what were they holding in? And has that you think been released over the past few years?
Mariah J. [:I think being in school in general, you are used to interacting with so many people on a day to day, and all of that was shut down at once. So we were, at the time, high school seniors who missed their proms, who missed their graduations. My graduation was in the cul de sac of our neighborhood, like, right in our front yard, surrounded by all the people I love. But everyone did not have that. Like, some people's graduation was just canceled. In general, they got mailed a diploma. So I don't know. People just felt very confined within themselves, like, not share too much, not do too much, because to speak to someone during COVID you have to be doing outreach. You had to be reaching out. It wasn't a natural conversation happening because you are no longer running into people in the hallway or in class. So it actually took that extra step of reaching out, and that can be hard for a lot of people, especially someone who's about to go into a very crucial time in their life, college. It can be very hard. So she helped us to open up conversations and open up that dialogue and actually understand, okay, we are all having very similar experiences right now. And it was also a thing of, like, unfortunately, during COVID a lot of people's family members were passing, people who they knew, people's neighbors. So people were also going through these things at home, in these confined spaces where they had not been in the house with their family all day, every day since maybe they were kids. Because you go to school, your family members go to work. So it was interesting. It was very interesting.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Well, I must say, I had a great time with you being home freshman year. You know, I did.
Mariah J. [:We did a lot because you were.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Graduating early, because we didn't know that your freshman year of college was going to be your freshman year of college until the beginning of your 11th grade year, when they said, oh, no, you're going to graduate this year. And I'm like, what? And everything was a scramble. So it's like, I got my extra year even though you graduated a year early. So I was thankful.
Mariah J. [: gh it wasn't as big as it was: De'Shonda Lucas [:Hold on.
Mariah J. [:What's?
De'Shonda Lucas [:BSU.
Mariah J. [:Black Student Union.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Black Student Union. Okay.
Mariah J. [:Yes.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Okay.
Mariah J. [:I was on the executive board of the Black Student Union as a director of finance, but we all pitched in on planning events and different things, and we noticed that we were having a hard time getting people to show up. But then we started speaking to e boards of other organizations, and everyone was having the same issue. Everyone was having the same issue. Even like, school department programs were having the same issue. The engagement was just very down, and everyone had been completely isolated for a year, so it's hard to expect that from people. So that was something that was definitely worked on. And I see now on campus, everyone is so it gives college.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Okay?
Mariah J. [:When I was here my sophomore year, it didn't give like, college college. It felt like a Twilight Zone type of thing. I'm not sure. Okay. But we still were able to make community, still so thankful that I was a part of the Black Scholars Program because that gave me a foundation here. I knew professors here. I had a group of students who I could go to. We already had our group chats. We already had one on one conversations in a specific space that was made just for us on Zoom. So we were able to connect on that level. And when we got to campus, we were able to talk. And then my junior year, I had the wonderful pleasure of studying abroad for a year. That was amazing. And even in planning for it, I think we were always like, free to fly, she's free to fly. We knew she was going everywhere. That was always the plan. So that was amazing to have experienced that. And it's really funny because, like, K through twelve, I had never stayed at a school longer than two years. And then before I went to college, we were like, oh, you're going to have to stay there longer than two years. Like, it was a joke. But first year was COVID. My third year I studied abroad. Now I'm on campus my senior year. So they got my two years.
De'Shonda Lucas [:They got your two years. And even going back when you were going back to campus and you got you're like, Mommy, I can't believe I have to come back. Like, I'm in the exact same place. I'm like, you're supposed to be there. You're supposed to be there. But let's rewind and talk about how you got to studying abroad. So for college students or high school students who are interested in studying abroad, what is that process like, what is that availability like? And even you advocating for yourself to do that. Can you please share just a little bit about that, just to open up the conversation and put something in the toolbox for someone else?
Mariah J. [:Of course. It definitely starts from the beginning, from freshman year, maybe beginning of sophomore year, just the planning aspect. So here we have like a four year degree evaluation. So you're supposed to map out it doesn't have to be absolute, but you're supposed to map out the classes that you'll take all four years in order to graduate on time. And for me, I believe.
De'Shonda Lucas [:The first.
Mariah J. [:Year during COVID and then half of second year, I kind of like, maxed out my credits. So I took the max amount of credits, I think full time. Here it's just twelve credits. Usually people take 16. I took 18, which is the max each semester, which has its own ups and downs and challenges, because it is most common for people to study abroad for one semester. But I wanted to study abroad for a full year, which is why I maxed out most of the time. And then my guiding light here, you always was willing to help me in that I feel like you can see the bigger picture, sometimes more than I can. So with mapping out my classes, you always helped me, especially when I was about to go to school, which really helped. And even you helped me with things my advisors couldn't even help me with.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Well, that's because we've been mapping out classes, man. I guess I've been mapping out classes since I homeschooled you, like, really mapping out classes. And I remember when you were going into middle school and I decided to homeschool you, I knew that you would go back to school. So I was very intentional on how I mapped your classes out and the resources and softwares that I got to track what was mapped out. So when you got ready to go back to school, I didn't have a problem getting you access to higher level classes because I mapped everything out, and I logged the entire process. So when it was time for you, even when you were in high school, because we mapped the classes out, and I knew what it would take for you to graduate high school, we ended up you graduated a year early. So when you went to college again okay, Mariah, what's the goal? This is where you're at. This is step one. You tell me where step ten is, and I can figure out how to get you there. And that's what it has always been between you and I. We're going to start at step one. You tell me what your step ten looks like, and it's yours. And if you want to change it at some point, that's fine. It's yours to change. But my goal and my responsibility is to help you navigate steps two through nine. And I think that evens the playing field for you, and not only evens the playing field, but kind of puts you a few steps ahead. But you have always been really sure about certain things you wanted in life. I can remember you being maybe eight, nine years old, and we were sitting at the table in the kitchen, and you was like, mommy, I want a really expensive car. And I was like, oh, you do? And you said, but if I'm going to have a really expensive car, I need to have a really good job. And if I'm going to have a really good job, I have to do really good in college. And if I'm going to do really good in college, I got to do really good in high school. Like, you are able yourself to look at where you want to go and understand the things that you have to do before you even get there. So it's not just me. It's definitely us working together. But you're very clear on what you want, not necessarily the specific job, but the feeling that you want. Or not necessarily the specific house, but the feeling that you want to have when you get to a certain place and that I'm very impressed with. Just from one woman to another, I am so impressed by your understanding of you and what pleases you and just where you want to. Very, very impressed with.
Mariah J. [:Karen.
De'Shonda Lucas [:So tell me about your study abroad. So you were in Paris one semester and Greece one semester. Give me three things that you learned in Paris about you, about people, about Paris.
Mariah J. [:Okay. The major thing that I would say.
De'Shonda Lucas [:About I feel like you hear a.
Mariah J. [:Lot of stereotypes before you go somewhere. And I had always heard the stereotype the French people were mean, whatever, and you can second this. They're not mean. They mind their business.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Baby, I'm telling you. I told you. I'm gonna get a shirt.
Mariah J. [:Be like the French mind your exactly like that's. How it not I feel like in America, it's just so easy to gossip. It's so easy to that's everywhere to be just it's very gossip heavy. What's the next person doing? How does that affect how what impact can I have on what they're doing? That's not a big thing there, I don't think.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Okay.
Mariah J. [:Or at least not in my experience. I've heard in other people's experiences different, but in my experience, it wasn't another big thing that I learned. Just always I feel like from now, from growing up to being in Paris, even now, it pays to smile. The most rewarding feeling is smiling at someone, and they smile back at you, and you have this feel connected to you. That's one of the most rewarding feelings to me. And I stayed on a very so blessed I stayed on one of the most popular market streets in Paris. So as soon as I walked out of my apartment, there were just shops and the florists, the wine shop, the gelato place, and they all knew me. And every time I walked out, they would smile. And I'm not sure if anyone's ever seen Emily in Paris, but how she just walks through, and she's just like, that was me. Like, in real life.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Just Mariah in Paris.
Mariah J. [:In real life, it felt great. It was amazing.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Let's talk about that smiling before you get to number three. And this is, I think, the most perfect place to open the conversation about my mother. The lesson that my mother taught me, and she said it then, she says it now, and I passed it on to my daughter is if you smile at the world, it will smile back at you. And I think that you're so right. You are so right. When you smile at the world, you shift the energy of the world. And since you were a baby, when I would pray with you as a little bitty baby in the bed, and when you were two and three, I prayed that you would change the world. And if you don't do anything but change the world with your smile, you have done more than enough. You have done more than enough because you have the most beautiful smile, and your mommy is so proud of you. This is my thank you. Okay, what's the third thing?
Mariah J. [:Petty third thing. I think that and I feel like study abroad in general taught me this, but I value me more. I value me more, like, here, being back at school, and it's coming back. You are in school first. You're a student first, and then you have time to do you find time to do other things that help you to support yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself, love your friends, hang out with friends. And it's hard to do those things in this space, whereas I felt like schooling abroad. You are a person first. You just don't happen to go to school. And you can do great in school. Your teachers can still be amazing teachers. You can still learn as much as you do here, or I still learned as much as I did here or as I would have here. But I experienced life. I experienced so many things, and I feel like that kind of set the tone for what I wanted, my future. When I was younger, Mariah, she did want to make the most money. She did want to have the biggest house, the nicest car, everything. And it's like, I still would want those things for myself. But I know as long as I'm happy, as long as I'm good in here, I'm perfectly fine. That's all that I need. So that was a big lesson, being.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Right. All right, now fly us over to Greece.
Mariah J. [:Okay.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Three lessons from Greece.
Mariah J. [:A big one that Greece taught or less of a lesson, more of an experience.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Okay.
Mariah J. [:I had a very big group of girlfriends in Greece, and I've always probably when I was younger, when I went to Berean, it was the girls, you know, the girls. And that was probably the last time that I had one big friend group who was all connected. But I'm always in the middle. I'm always friends with so many different types of people. And I don't know, I mix my friends. I love for my friends to meet each other, to fellowship with each other, but they all have very different personalities, backgrounds, interests, and I have friend groups in different places. Whereas in Greece, I was able to build one big group of girlfriends, and we traveled the islands together, and we had self care nights together and went out to eat. That was a really nice experience, especially being an adult now, having that and knowing that that's possible. And one thing and this goes back to the smile and just go back. Smile in the world or smile back at you? One of them, she wrote me, like, a little note and left it on my bed one day, and it said, thank you, Mariah, because I didn't know that everyone's, like, could shine at wow. And, like, that's probably one of the most meaningful things to me, because you would like to think that you're a good person. And I know I go into situations very genuine. I don't judge. I love. I don't know how to do anything but love. My mother is nothing but love. My grandmother's, nothing but love. My great grandmother's nothing but love. That's all I know how to do. So to know that that got across in a group, that big, wow, that set a tone, for sure.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Wow. All right, so before we leave your study abroad, can you tell us a few of the places that you traveled to and which one was, like, a few of them that just they were the one. Okay.
Mariah J. [:Some of us even just reflecting on this, I'm like, wow, right? This is crazy. So I've been able to go to ten countries in the past year.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Okay.
Mariah J. [:The standout greece was amazing. Greece was I don't even know how to describe it. I feel like Greece is so cool because there's so many different parts. Greece has, I believe, like, 55 islands. You can't go to all of them, but a few of them you can. And every island you go to, every place you go to is a different experience. So I feel like Greece is cool because you can be so many different places at once. Also, if you're looking into study abroad, I really did love the American College of Greece. And my favorite thing was that when students study abroad, they don't always have the means to travel on the weekends and do these different things, but that school, they make sure to show you different experiences. So they put the study abroad students on a bus and took us through the neighborhood, took us on different tours. We took a boat trip to an island. So even if you don't come with that extra money to do to fly every weekend or whatever the case may be, you can still have a good experience there. So I did really like Greece, especially for that reason. I love the neighborhood that we stayed in. Everyone was so kind. The food was amazing. There's an island in Greece called Peroz. I really thought that mykonos santorini would be, like, my favorite. Peros is my favorite island. The food was amazing. The sunsets, everything was so good. So that would be like a top for me. And that was one of our girls trip stops, so that made it ten times better. It was really nice. And then Morocco morocco has my heart. Morocco has my heart. Wait, I maybe should come back to that one because I feel like it's a segue. So I'm going to give Morocco and go to, I would say London. Odly, enough. I never was like, oh, my gosh, I have to go to like I don't just I was never like that. But in going there, I really did have a good experience. I was only there for two days. Most money I've spent in a weekend. It's very expensive, but it was fun, it was a nice time. I was my friend Simone, we had a blast. So London was nice. Paris, of course, living in Paris, I could see the Eiffel Tower out of my window and that is just something.
De'Shonda Lucas [:I don't know.
Mariah J. [:Manifestation means like that again, what did.
De'Shonda Lucas [:You say that's manifestation? Your Paris experience is true. Manifestation.
Mariah J. [:It's so manifestation.
De'Shonda Lucas [:You've had a Paris bedroom as a child, you've had Paris parties as a child. It's somewhere you've always been interested in going. So that was just paris was definitely.
Mariah J. [:Definitely.
De'Shonda Lucas [:One thing I want to share and I want to thank you publicly. Like, when I met you in Istanbul, when we traveled and I ended up in Greece and Mariah booked me the most exciting lodging hotel experience ever. And what made it so beautiful is that literally out of my window was acropolis. And as a child, I have loved Greek mythology, I have read all about Greek mythology and just to be so close to it, I was like grinning from ear to ear. And I just thank you so much for remembering the things that matter to me just as my daughter and wanting to do things to make me happy. Because a lot of times as a parent, you spend all your thought and money and resources and everything to make your child happy. But when the child turns around and does the exact same thing, that is definitely a bucket list item that I never knew I even had it as a child. I didn't dream that big. I didn't. But you make dreams come true that are above and beyond anything that I can imagine. And I know that's just the God in you. So thank you.
Mariah J. [:And I was thinking about that. This is like a side note, but I was thinking about that earlier. I always want to give back to you. I always want to be my best for you. And this is a whole nother conversation, but you always want to be your best for me. So sometimes when I'm sad or when I'm down, I don't want to call you out of time because I want you to see me at my best. But it's oftentimes those people you want to see you at your best who can get you through your worst. That was like my thought earlier today and I was just like, I always want to give you my best I want to show you the best. I want you to see the best parts of the world. I have as big dreams for you as you have for me. Like, seeing you do this makes me so it fills my heart. I was talking to someone earlier who had I sent them the video of your podcast, and they were like, she's glowing. I was like, I know she's glowing. I love to see that.
De'Shonda Lucas [:So I completely understand that you want me to see you at your best, but I will tell you a thousand times over, you and I are so connected, whether you tell me or not. If something is wrong with you, something is wrong in my spirit.
Mariah J. [:Yeah.
De'Shonda Lucas [:And so the faster we can work through it and not to rush you through it, but don't hold it back because you don't want to share with me and bring me down, because if anything, I'm strong enough to bring you up just like you're strong enough to bring me up. There are times I just want to just do nothing. But, baby, you tell me. All right, you got to get on your zoom at ten. Baby, my baby said, I got to get up.
Mariah J. [:Get on your zoom.
De'Shonda Lucas [:We got to get on that zoom. I feel you, and I hope a lot of people can hear this part, that what you're facing is not so heavy that somebody else can't help you carry it, because sometimes you just have to carry it and talk through it with someone. And just by doing that, it can make the smallest of change. So, baby, don't ever think you got to hold something because you don't want me to see you a certain way. Okay? Got it.
Mariah J. [:It always ends up going back to you. We end up hurting in the same place. Okay. All right.
De'Shonda Lucas [:What's wrong with you?
Mariah J. [:No, what's wrong with you? And then we get.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Right. All of a sudden, I get sick. But you feel better.
Mariah J. [:Exactly.
De'Shonda Lucas [:But, baby, I'll take it for you every single day of the week. Every day, I'll take it for you just like you'll take it for me.
Mariah J. [:And vice versa. You know, it just like you'll take it from me.
De'Shonda Lucas [:All right. You want to share something about Morocco?
Mariah J. [:Yes. So Morocco is probably we went to Marrakesh, we stayed at the Janan Tomsna Hotel, only black woman owned hotel in Morocco. And I feel like to describe it as only a hotel is injustice because it is so much more. It is an experience, it is a connecting space, a building space. It's so beautiful. And the energy and spirit and feeling there cannot be put into words. Like, I just can't put it into words, and it's truly something to experience. So that was a big part of my trip in Morocco. As well as.
De'Shonda Lucas [:That you have these.
Mariah J. [:Dreams and goals when you're younger and to think about, oh, my goodness. I was just in Greece, my mom's in the US. We can meet up in Morocco and be able to connect and fellowship and see each other. That is such a blessing. So thinking about that the whole time I was there, one of my friends joined us, Kaylin. So even being able to show, to see her have new experiences, her seeing me have new experiences, my mom seeing two young girls have new experiences, because I know you are very passionate about young women and the growth of young women. So seeing that in your eye, looking.
De'Shonda Lucas [:At looking at you, look at us.
Mariah J. [:That was an experience within itself. But it's such a beautiful space. People are willing there. I think that is a really big thing. People are willing to teach you, willing to show you, willing to talk to you. Very open, very kind. And even though we don't always speak the same language, you figure it out. And it's definitely a willingness and an energy that I haven't really felt too many other places. It's very unique. It's very unique. And we went at the end of Ramadan, so it was also going into a season of celebration. So seeing that, seeing the people experience, that was absolutely beautiful. It was so beautiful. Yeah. I really love Morocco. And then the Segue I was thinking of, so even being able to stay at the Janan Thompson Hotel, you have always made sure that I had certain experiences in life so that I knew I could do certain things, and I knew I was capable of them, deserving of them, and vice versa. It's like, even in my adult life, you're still showing me that I remember maybe, what, once a year, occasionally, you would save up and take me to Brunch at the Four Seasons or something, just so that I knew it was something that I could achieve and somewhere I could be in a space that I belonged in. You never taught me to believe that any spaces were restricted to me or I couldn't be in them. So Morocco is also like a model of that for me.
De'Shonda Lucas [:I feel like, okay, that's wonderful. One last thing before we finish the travels. Can you share about safety, traveling internationally and the difference in safety here in the US?
Mariah J. [:I think before you well, of course, it depends on where you go. A lot of times before you go somewhere, you're put on high alert. Of course. Be safe. I don't travel usually by myself. I don't really travel by myself. When I stayed in Paris, I lived with someone in Greece. I lived in a dorm. It was apartment style, but it was like ten of us, so there was always someone who you could walk somewhere with or go somewhere with. I don't think I felt unsafe in.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Any of the countries I went to.
Mariah J. [:Romania was a little different. And I won't speak for the whole country, but. In the airport, at least most of my roommates, we went from Greece, so most of my roommates who I live with in Greece were white. And then I was the only visually black person. And we went to the airport. We were going through TSA in Romania. They asked them all, like, one question, and they passed through. I was standing at that counter for so long. They asked me so many questions, and that's okay. Okay. I'm black here. I'm black everywhere. I'm proud to be black everywhere. But it showed that I was different. I was very different there. They were not used to seeing me. They threw away my comb in the airport.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Really?
Mariah J. [:Yes. Like, going through TSA, they threw away my comb. Girl, you ain't yeah, I had, like, a rattail comb. They said, you can't have this. Right. I see. So, yeah, that was definitely experience. But other than that, I'm honestly a lot of times more scared for my life in the US. Than I was abroad, being completely transparent. Thank you. Think about I know a lot of parents are afraid for their children to go abroad, but it can be a lot scarier here. It is a lot scarier here.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Okay. All right, so we've made it back over. Now we're into senior year. And what are your hopes for senior year? What are some things you're doing now at school, and what are your hopes?
Mariah J. [:So this has been a very busy year already. We're only two weeks into the semester, but I've been here for about a month now, and this year I'm a resident advisor. So RA training is a job within itself. Being an RA is a job within itself, but it's very rewarding to be able to create a space where everyone feels comfortable and can feel most like themselves. I've really been trying to communicate with my residents. We have social programs planned for them, so planning those type of things, that has been very nice. And then I'm also co president of an.org called Sister Connection on campus. And our goal is to unify black women on campus. And when I tell you this right now, right here is, like, my passion. It's like my baby.
De'Shonda Lucas [:All right.
Mariah J. [:I love it because it feeds into things I want to do in the future. I have to work with black women. I have to foster spaces for black women to know that they can thrive and see we we're the same. That's clearly my mom, because I want to make spaces where people know that they're free to fly. Like, that's the goal, and that's who we are. So Connection is, like, my pilot in that I would say. And so far, we had a back to school brunch event. That was a new experience for me, just hosting and creating that because we don't have the biggest budget. So I went, like, walking around to different places, and I spoke to the owner of a restaurant explained to him what I was doing, the type of experience I wanted to create, the fact that I loved his space and would love other people to experience it. And he was so nice to give us his patio for free for like an hour on whatever day we wanted and just building that connection. Then I met his wife, who owns a restaurant across the street, so that's like a potential for future opportunities. And we had a pretty good turnout at the brunch. It went well. Learning different leadership skills and how to delegate is a big thing that I'm working on.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Okay.
Mariah J. [:I thought my mama's miss door herself. She could do it herself. I can do it myself, but you don't always have to do it by yourself. So that's a big thing that I'm learning and splitting work, splitting tasks. And I'm the type of person, like, before I give you an idea, I want it to be fully developed, or at least most of the way. Whereas I have people who can go through that process with me now, so communicating with them, hearing thoughts, sharing with them my thoughts, sharing with them what I'm trying to do so they can help me get to that angle. That is a big part of being on an executive board, especially being president of an executive board, something that I'm seeing and figuring out now.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Right? I think if there is no parent, is the perfect parent, right? And I am not the perfect parent. I have done my best, but I am not the perfect parent. If there is one thing I wish I had taught you different or taught you earlier, is how to ask for help and how to delegate and how to live in a space of receiving, because I think that's important. But I also know that God is wherever you are and you will learn and get what you need. And at each phase of your life, you're learning something different. And so this is your delegating leadership, asking for help and allowing people to give you their best and be able to communicate with them. So I'm proud of you. I'm definitely proud of you.
Mariah J. [:And even on that, I feel like you always say, like, old school is do as I say, not as I do. But you are a lead by example and do as I do. Like, I am a guide for you. I do think you taught me that lesson. It may not have been in that way of do as I do because I did not see you ask for help a lot or see you receive as much as you should have, but I could always ask you for help. You were always a resource to me. You were always a guide to me, and I knew that, and I know that now. And my friends know that. My friends come with me to problems. I'll send them to you.
De'Shonda Lucas [:And they come too. That's my babies, honey. I love them. I love them all. I love them all. What is it about our relationship or the way I communicate with you that some people don't necessarily get? Or what is it from your perspective? What is it about our relationship?
Mariah J. [:Feel like it purely operates out of here. It operates out of the heart. I feel like a lot of parent child relationships, I'm not a parent, so it's hard for me to speak from that point of view. But it's like, I love you, but I have to be a certain type of way here because I'm your parent. There has to be set boundaries, which I feel like there are between us. There has to be a certain way of communication style that different. Parent child relationships have all those different things, but I don't think we're in our head on who we should be or who we have to be. It's more so of I'm going to operate and interact with you purely from my heart. So it's never been like a Mariah, you can't be my friend. You've never been like that. So it's like in being that way, you are my like, it's one thing for your child to not be your friend, but you should be your child's friend because you want them to tell you certain things and be a certain way with you and be comfortable enough with you to have conversations that need to be had. And it made it so that a lot of things, like, you always told me you experienced so I didn't have to go through, but you still gave me the option to go through it myself. So that's like another, hey, I'm going to tell you my experience now. If you still want to do it, then you still want to do it. That's how we operate it. So it was like a very clear.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Like, I don't know, and you big enough to do it, be big enough to say you did it, and you have always been big enough to say you did it. And when you say you did it, I like.
Mariah J. [:To say I did it.
De'Shonda Lucas [:You own it, man. You own it. Yeah.
Mariah J. [:And I think that's the thing about our relationship. We own it. You own the way you parent me and you do it an amazing way. I own the position I am in as your child. I own the relationship that we have. Yeah. Me and my mama have an open relationship, especially coming to school. It was a thing of like, you talk to your mama every day. You tell your mama this, you tell your mama that. Yeah. What do you mean? That's my girl.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Look, then we'd be on the phone, girl, let me tell you what happened.
Mariah J. [:Girl, please tell me why.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Then I get on the phone, I'm like, hold on, wait a minute. Let me get myself together.
Mariah J. [:What happened, girl, exactly. Every time. And it's not like I can't talk to you. And I think that's another thing about why our relationship is the way it is. You started your own business, or at least from my knowledge, you started your own business so that you could be at home with me. You did certain things so that you could be with me. You never made me feel like I was undeserving of your time, or I had to fight for your time, which might be a little only child syndrome on my part. I'd be expecting my mama to answer the phone when I call her. But I never had to fight for your attention and fight for your time, fight for your love. And that always made me feel I could share anything with you. You're the first person I go to if something exciting in my life happens. I want to tell my mama first, because I know she want to hear it. You've never acted like you didn't like you've never had a wall up or anything.
De'Shonda Lucas [:That's good. I think a lot of that.
Mariah J. [:For.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Me, you were a gift to me, and it's my responsibility to get you to a certain place. And I have always taken that responsibility very, very seriously. Like, there was an agreement made before we even touched this earth that my responsibility was to get you to a certain place and just give you all the tools and resources that I could give you. And if that's being available for you, then that's being available for you. But you have always made it so easy. God knows you have made it easy to do. You have made it so easy. Life has not been easy, but anything that has, whenever life is lifeing, you lighten that load. Just a smile on your face and your spirit, and you just really lighten that load. And so I thank you. I thank you for trusting me with you. Even sometimes when you want to hold back, you still decide to trust me. With you, it's like, okay, I can't hold it no more. And I thank you for trusting me with you. And I feel no safer in this world with anybody than I do with you as well. Make me a better person. You really do. I think this is a really good place to kind of wind up. I really do. But I want to ask you, what is the greatest advice you've ever received? What is the most life changing thing you think you've heard thus far?
Mariah J. [:I'm going to say this one, and I may think of something else.
De'Shonda Lucas [:Okay.
Mariah J. [:But it may sound so basic, but I really think everything is going to be okay. That, for me, is like because sometimes I do get very anxious when it comes to decision making and different things. And someone was asking me what I want to do earlier, and I was telling them, I feel like I'm in this cave and there's so many different tunnels that I could go down and that's stressful to me. But then when I think about no matter which tunnel I go down, I'm going to be okay. That's what keeps me going. So I would definitely say everything. You will end up exactly where you're supposed to be. When something does not go in my favor, I promise you. I may be a little upset for 2 seconds, but at the end of the day, I know that I was not supposed to be there. I was not supposed to be in that situation. I was not supposed to have that job. I was not supposed to have that friend. It wasn't meant to be. And I will end up exactly where I'm supposed to be. So as long as I keep moving forward with integrity and being genuine and remaining who I am, I will end up exactly where I'm supposed to be.
De'Shonda Lucas [:That's right. All things, baby. All things. All things. All things. All things. All things. My prayer to God is when it comes to you, when it comes to your brothers, god, catch my babies. When they fall, that's it. Because everything is not going to be easy. And if there's a closed door, if there is a hole underground and you fall in it or you fall through it, god will be there and all things come together. You're exactly where you're supposed to be. Sometimes life sits you down. Sit down and figure out what it is you're supposed to be learning because you needed a break. Okay? And that's just it. That's just it. Well, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so thankful. I'm thankful that you took time out of your schedule because I know it's busy. I have to get on your schedule just like anybody have to get on mine. Like I literally have to get on your schedule. So I am happy for you. Anything you want to share to young adults in your generation before you come off the podcast.
Mariah J. [:Definitely repeat that everything is going to be okay piece. But also use your resources. If it is anything that I'm realizing, being a senior, I feel like college is like this blanket. You have time to mess up a little bit. You have time to figure things out. You still have time once you graduate to do those things. But in college you have certain resources that you may overlook. Career services, tutoring, clubs, those little things that you're interested in. Those little electives, take them, those little clubs, join them. Even if you only go to one meeting, you never know who you will meet. You never know who will become a resource to you. Your professors, talk to them. Talk to them about their life. If they down for that, speak to them. Because I still have professors from my freshman year who check in on me and I check on them and I know they will be at my graduation, even though they may not work in this space anymore, be in this space anymore. So use your resources. Communicate what you need to people. Because nine times out of ten, at least for the people who I've interacted with, they are willing to help and they want to see you succeed, especially when you're in college. When you're in college, it's like a little extra icing on the cake. Hi, I'm a college student and I need milk it. Milk it. Yeah, high school, college, definitely. Use your resources well, thank you so much.
De'Shonda Lucas [: ember, we drop on Tuesdays at:
